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    #1   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 20:48 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Íàïîìíèòå , êóäà äåëñÿ áåëâåñò , òàñìàíñêèé ïñåâäîìîðæ è æèðèíîâñêèé
    #4   drochepezd @ 18.01.10 20:49 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
ãäå ÿ
    #2   äóðà÷îê 074ê3 @ 18.01.10 20:49 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
íåà
    #3   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 20:50 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
ôûâà
    #5   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 20:53 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Åâðåé, äîåõàâ äî äîìà íà òàêñè, âûõîäèò ìîë÷à èç ìàøèíû è íà÷èíàåò øàðèòü ïî êàðìàíàì, à ïîä íîñ áîðìî÷åò:
- ×åðò, êàæåòñÿ â ìàøèíå êîøåë¸ê âûðîíèë...
Óñëûøàâ ýòî, òàêñèñò íàæèìàåò íà ãàç è ñìàòûâàåòñÿ.
Åâðåé ãëÿäÿ âñëåä òàêñè åõèäíî ãîâîðèò
- À Ðàáèíîâè÷ íå âð¸ò, ýòî ïðàâäà ðàáîòàåò...
    #7   ubivator. dolbiii @ 18.01.10 20:57 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
àáûðü
    #8   ihLee @ 18.01.10 20:58 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
#5 Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #9   Ãðóôô @ 18.01.10 21:06 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #10   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:06 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Êðèçèñ â Ðîññèè. Ïÿòà÷îê, èñïóãàííûé, ïðèáåãàåò ê Âèííè-Ïóõó.
- Âèííè, Âèííè! ×òî æå òåïåðü áóäåò? Ìåä ïîäîðîæàë!
Ïóõ, àáñîëþòíî ñïîêîéíî:
- Ïÿòà÷îê, à ñâèíèíà ïîäîðîæàëà?
- Äà.
- Íó, çíà÷èò è ìåä áóäåò
    #11   áàðàòðóìòâîéäîìøàòàë @ 18.01.10 21:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Sad íàïîìíèòå ìíå êóäà äåëñÿ òèìàòèäîòà Surprised
    #12   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ìàëåíüêèé ìàëü÷èê ñ ëþáîïûòñòâîì ðàññìàòðèâàåò ñâîè ïîëîâûå îðãàíû:
- Ìàìà, ìàìà! À ýòî ìîè ìîçãè?
- Íåò, ñûíîê... ïîêà åù¸ íåò. . .
    #13   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:09 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ó÷èòåëüíèöà íà óðîêå ôèçèêè:
- Áåðåì ýáîíèòîâóþ ïàëî÷êó, êëàäåì åå â ýáîíèòîâûé ñòàêàí÷èê. . .
Âîâî÷êà:
- Ùà êààààê ýáàíåò! ! !
    #15   N0-N0 @ 18.01.10 21:10 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Surprised
    #18   Member1 @ 18.01.10 21:10 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #16   Ãðóôô @ 18.01.10 21:11 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #19   EG.Grubby @ 18.01.10 21:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #17   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #20   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:16 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ïîâåëà ó÷èòåëüíèöà äåòåé íà ýêñêóðñèþ íà ñòðîéêó.
Òàì ñëó÷èëñÿ íåñ÷àñòíûé ñëó÷àé (ñòðîèòåëü óïàë ñ ëåñòíèöå è ðàçáèëñÿ íàñìåðòü).
Âîçâðàùàþòñÿ äåòè â øêîëó è ó÷èòåëüíèöà ðåøèëà ðàçîáðàòü ñëó÷èâøååñÿ.
- Ñêàæè íàì, Ìàøåíüêà, êàê òû äóìàåøü, ïî÷åìó óïàë äÿäÿ?
- Äÿäÿ íå ñîáëþäàë òåõíèêó áåçîïàñíîñòè.
- À òû, Âàíå÷êà, êàê äóìàåøü?
- Hàâåpíî äÿäÿ âûïèë...
Âäpóã âñòàåò Âîâî÷êà:
- Håò! Äÿäÿ ðóãàë ìàòîì ìîþ ìàìó!
- Ïî÷åìó òû òàê äóìàåøü?
- ß ñàì ñëûøàë êàê îí êðè÷àë "Ìàëü÷èê, òâîþ ìàòü! Hå òðÿñè ëåñòíèöó!"
äóìàþ õàðîø, çàâòðà àïíó åñëè íå çàáóäó Shocked
    #21   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:22 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ìàëåíüêèé àíãëèéñêèé ìàëü÷èê òùåòíî ïûòàåòñÿ äîòÿíóòüñÿ äî äâåðíîãî çâîíêà. Ê íåìó ïîäõîäèò ÷îïîðíûé äæåíòåëüìåí.
- ß ìîãó ïîìî÷ü òåáå, ìàëûø?
- Äà, ñýð, íàæìèòå ïîæàëóéñòà.
Äæåíòåëüìåí íàæèìàåò íà çâîíîê.
- È ÷òî òåïåðü, þíûé äæåíòåëüìåí?
- À òåïåðü, äÿäåíüêà, óáåãàéòå!!!
    #22   ÓÑîâåö @ 18.01.10 21:31 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Shocked
    #23   bRAZILR @ 18.01.10 21:43 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Shocked
    #24   ÂåÑåËü×àÊ @ 18.01.10 21:51 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Shocked Shocked
    #25   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:53 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Íà óðîêå â øêîëå ó÷èòåëüíèöà ãîâîðèò:
- Äåòè, ïðåäñòàâüòå ñåáå, ÷òî âàøà ìàìà ïîøëà íà ðûíîê è êóïèëà àðáóçû. Âàì íóæíî ïîìî÷ü åé è äîíåñòè äîìîé êàê ìîæíî áîëüøå àðáóçîâ.
Êàê âû ýòî ñäåëàåòå?
Íà çàäíåé ïàðòå Âîâî÷êà òÿíåò ðóêó è õî÷åò îòâåòèòü. Ó÷èòåëüíèöà ïîäóìàëà, ÷òî êàêóþ-íèáóäü ãàäîñòü ñêàæåò, è ñïðîñèëà Ìàøó.
Âñòàåò Ìàøà è ãîâîðèò:
- ß ìîãó äîíåñòè äîìîé äâà àðáóçà.
- Èíòåðåñíî, à êàê?
- Îäèí àðáóç âîçüìó â ïðàâóþ ðóêó, à äðóãîé - â ëåâóþ.
- Ìîëîäåö, Ìàøåíüêà, ñàäèñü.
Òóò Ïåòÿ òÿíåò ðóêó.
- À òû, Ïåòÿ, ñêîëüêî àðáóçîâ äîíåñåøü.
- À ÿ äîíåñó òðè àðáóçà!!!
- À êàê?
- Îäèí àðáóç âîçüìó â ëåâóþ ðóêó, äðóãîé - â ïðàâóþ, à íà ñâîé îãðîìíûé äëèííûé ÷ëåí ÿ íàäåíó òðåòèé àðáóç!
Ó÷èòåëüíèöà â øîêå:
- Ïåòÿ! Êàê òû ìîã?! Òàêîãî ÿ ìîãëà òîëüêî îò Âîâî÷êè îæèäàòü.
À Âîâî÷êà óæå âåñü èçâåëñÿ, óæå ïåíà èçî ðòà ïîøëà, òÿíåò ðóêó õî÷åò îòâåòèòü. Ó÷èòåëüíèöà äóìàåò: "Õóæå óæå íàâåðíîå íå áóäåò", è ãîâîðèò:
- Íó äàâàé Âîâî÷êà, îòâå÷àé.
Âîâî÷êà âñêàêèâàåò è êðè÷èò:
- À ÿ ìîãó îòíåñòè ïÿòü àðáóçîâ!
Âñå â óäèâëåíèè, ýòî æå íåâîçìîæíî!!! Êàê?
- À âîò êàê! Îäèí àðáóç ÿ âîçüìó â ïðàâóþ ðóêó, äðóãîé - â ëåâóþ, à íà ñâîé îãðîìíûé äëèííûé ÷ëåí ÿ ïîñàæó Ïåòþ ñ òðåìÿ àðáóçàìè!!!
    #26   Øóì äîæäÿ @ 18.01.10 21:56 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #28   Member1 @ 18.01.10 22:00 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing
    #27   ÑÂÈÍÏÀÓÊ @ 18.01.10 22:00 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #29   No name 364[Î_Î] @ 18.01.10 22:10 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Cool Cool Cool
    #30   Ñóñëèê 364 @ 18.01.10 22:55 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #31   V4nz0r vbb @ 18.01.10 23:02 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
    #32   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 23:51 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
 øêîëå ó÷èòåëüíèöà:
- Äåòè, ñåãîäíÿ ìû áóäåì ïðîõîäèòü ñëîâî "îïðåäåë¸ííî". Ñîñòàâòå ïðåäëîæåíèå ñ ýòèì ñëîâîì.
Ìàøà:
- Íåáî îïðåäåë¸ííî ãîëóáîå.
- Íåò, ýòî íå ïîäõîäèò, íåáî áûâàåò ñåðûì.
Êàòÿ:
- Òðàâà îïðåäåë¸ííî çåëåíàÿ.
- Îïÿòü íå ïîäõîäèò, òðàâà áûâàåò æ¸ëòàÿ.
Âîâî÷êà:
- À ìîæíî âîïðîñ?
- Äà.
- À ïåðä¸æ áûâàåò êîìêàìè?
- Êàê òåáå íå ñòûäíî!
- Çíà÷èò, ÿ îïðåäåë¸ííî îáîñð4ëñÿ.
    #34   JobanutbIy @ 18.01.10 23:54 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #33   VIVALAAAAA @ 18.01.10 23:55 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #35   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 19.01.10 00:04 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Óðîê áèîëîãèè. Ó÷èòåëüíèöà ãîâîðèò äåòÿì:
- Äåòè! Âû çíàåòå, ÷òî òû÷èíêà è ïåñòèê ó öâåòî÷êîâ - ýòî îðãàíû ðàçìíîæåíèÿ...
Ñ çàäíåé ïàðòû Âîâî÷êà:
- Á%%%ü... À ÿ èõ íþõàë...
    #36   Êîïåòàí_íåâèííîñòü[÷óòü-÷óòü â áàíå] @ 19.01.10 00:36 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Surprised Laughing Laughing
    #37   òðîëëü @ 19.01.10 00:42 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #38   Polkaaaaa @ 19.01.10 00:44 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #39   ñóïåð_ñî÷íûé_ïåð÷èê @ 19.01.10 17:27 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Rolling Eyes
    #40   TroubleMaker @ 19.01.10 18:02 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #41   Ãðóôô @ 20.01.10 18:07 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ãàðàæ ïðèâåò Laughing
    #42   SCHurSCH @ 20.01.10 18:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #43   Dodje @ 20.01.10 18:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   

    #45   36484T DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA @ 20.01.10 18:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #44   FreeSlave @ 20.01.10 18:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ðàçãîâîð äâóõ ïðîãðàììèñòîâ â òðàìâàå: Â÷åðà ìàòü íàãíóëàñü,âñþ íî÷ü ñ íåé 364ëñÿ,äàæå íå ïèêíóëà

    Îòâåòèòü
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised Shocked Confused Cool Laughing Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink Exclamation Question Idea Arrow

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